How do I ask someone not to call me "usted"?



Suppose you're in a situation where you have a formal/business relationship with someone, but the relationship has become more familiar over time. The other person continues to call you usted. How can you politely ask them to begin referring to you in the form? Is it ever inappropriate (by situation or geography) to ask to be referred to in the form instead of usted?


Posted 2012-04-11T03:07:32.200

Reputation: 7 534



In Spain we would say either of these:

Trátame de tú.


Or, in a more indirect way:

No me trates de usted.

Any of them in a cheerful manner and usually accompanied by the perceptive "por favor" if needed.


Posted 2012-04-11T03:07:32.200

Reputation: 3 280

Trátame de no sería correcto en Colombia. Sería trátame de ti.Máxima Alekz 2016-11-27T01:57:18.860

In Argentina we also use Tutéame but we say: Tuteame (without the accent)Lucas Gabriel Sánchez 2012-04-11T15:44:49.073


You can say in a cheerful tone:

Puedes hablarme de tú.     (You may speak to me informally)

It might be helpful to precede the sentence with an encouragement word, like this:

¡Vamos! Háblame de tú.     (Come on! Talk to me informally)

Please note that this applies particularly to Latin-American Spanish speakers. Some parts of Spain (and Argentina!) could be more conservative regarding the use of 'tú' and instead use the older 'vos'.


Posted 2012-04-11T03:07:32.200

Reputation: 248

2In Spain the "vos" is out of use. And you can say "tutéame por favor" or (more informal and for people around the same age or a little youger than you) "no me hables de usted que me haces viejo"Laura 2012-04-11T06:36:38.980

1The word "vos" in Argentina is not more conservative tan "tú" (we just don't use the word "tu" for anything but the possessive form).Mariano Desanze 2012-04-11T14:36:01.830

Spain doesn’t use vos as a formal kind of . Spain uses usted for formal singular. Yes, there is an archaic way of speaking that uses vos, but it sounds like someone using “dost thou wish thy own?” kinda arcaicism. Perhaps if you were super-formally addressing the king or some such.tchrist 2012-05-31T04:17:17.887


The verb tutear means precisely that. Example: "oh por favor, tutéame".


Posted 2012-04-11T03:07:32.200

Reputation: 897


I understand that both of you are using “usted” with each other. In that case, in my opinion, it's inappropriate to address them using “tú”, even if it's to ask them to use “tú” towards you.

You should just politely propose that you start using “tú” between each other. Some options:

¿Nos tuteamos?

¿Por qué no nos tuteamos?

Ya podríamos tutearnos, ingeniero, ¿no le parece?

But if the situation is asymmetric, and you already treat them with familiarity, then use some of the proposals in the other answers.



Posted 2012-04-11T03:07:32.200

Reputation: 4 678


I would say: "Puedes tutearme".


Posted 2012-04-11T03:07:32.200

Reputation: 381


Is it ever inappropriate (by situation or geography) to ask to be referred to in the form instead of usted?

Disclaimer: This answer could be very specific to a region but still answers this part of the question.

Indeed it could be inappropriate in some cases. I live in Colombia and, even when this is not the case in the whole country, I use "usted" in most cases. It's not always a matter of "formality" and distance, as I use it even with my family and close friends. It's a bit complex to explain because I do use also "tú", specially with women friends in spoken language, or in another contexts like this site, it's more natural for me to use "tú" when I write.

People from other regions use "tú" even in a work environment. For example my boss uses "tú" or "vos" (another informal variant) with me. I always use "usted" to reply to him, and it'd be a bit uncomfortable if he asked me to use "tú".

So I'd say that in most cases it'd be ok to ask someone to use "tú" with you, but there is also possible that some people (like me), depending on their region of origin, could feel a bit uncomfortable to do that.

Mauricio Martinez

Posted 2012-04-11T03:07:32.200

Reputation: 3 741

I agree. It is not inappropriate to ask but don't expect all people to be glad and actually switch to using DGaleano 2017-09-26T19:27:49.460


It'll be like

  • Quiero saber de ti / I want to know about you (tú).

  • Quiero que tú seas mi esposa / I want you to be my wife (tú).

  • Usted hace todo mejor / You make everything better


= Informally. Usted = Formally.

Máxima Alekz

Posted 2012-04-11T03:07:32.200

Reputation: 137

This is not really answering the question. Note that the user asks about asking someone to address you using the informal you.Charlie 2016-09-19T06:31:59.470