Wait for two days, and if she doesn't give me an exact delivery date (which she probably won't), just give her a fail grade.

Given that you already agreed to this extension, this is the only option you have. Do this.

Honestly, you should not even have agreed to this extension. I understand that you were under stress when you agreed to it, but students making a scene will happen more often to you in the future, and at some point you will get inured to it.

I feel very bad failing a student in her first big project, especially since if she fails she probably need to study one more semester to finish her studies.

This seems to be your real question. Unfortunately, there is really no way around this dilemma. If someone persistently does not deliver assignments and refuses all offers of help, failing them is the only option. Anything else will make a mockery of the entire system of higher education. (And be sure that other students will notice.)

Look at it this way: if you pass her, and she gets a degree, what will her employer do with her if she continues this way? They will fire her, and quickly so.

It appears that this students needs some serious help and counselling. It appears like you already did all you could do in this regard. I would recommend that you wait for two days, fail her if she does not hand in the date, and write up an explanation like you did here. Send this explanation to her in writing. Explain that it appears she is not ready to take a course like yours. Direct her to any counselling resources available at your institution. Keep a copy of this explanation for your file, in case she escalates this to your department head/dean/whatever.

Then do not enter into any further discussions with her, unless she retakes your course.

Sometimes a student's failure is a teaching success.

The lesson is just not the one you wished that you were teaching.

I agree with failing this student, and here is some other advice:

1. As mentioned in other answers, make sure you have collected e-mail correspondences in case she files a grievance.
2. If you need to write to her, write as little as possible. Simply state the fact in a couple sentences. Do not put any evaluation or judgmental statements in the e-mail. The more you write, the more she can later pick on.
3. Once she misses the ultimatum, simply submit the grade as soon as you can. If she comes to talk to you again, tell her that it's been in the formal record and out of your control. Refer her to the registrar.
4. If possible, do not meet with her with just you two. Invite at least one supervisor, registrar, or other relevant person to be there. Desperate students can potentially make up a lot of delusional accusations; having a third person can avoid the "you said, I said" confusion.
5. Just give the simplest explanation, repeat that if you may. Even if she presses for more explanation or justification, always go back to the simplest explanation. And feel free to tell her there is no more you can say. If she explains with a learning disability, accident, or hurricane, do not join the discussion. Say again that the decision has been made and it's out of your control. Refer her to the higher-up.
6. Get the next in the line involved. It can be the Dean of Students or the Dean of the Department. Let them know you may refer her to see them if she requires to have her plead advanced.

Remember to chill out. Failing students is in no way a pleasant experience. However, it's our job to give objective evaluations. The student lacks fundamental cognitive input and basic professionalism; to me, it's a one-way ticket to the Fail-land.

I'd like to contribute with a bit of personal experience, and perhaps isn't the advice you're looking for, so let downvotes ensue. A few people here mentioned possibility of a learning disability, so here goes.

Six or seven years ago, I was exactly this student. I switched majors twice in my undergrad and ended up taking extra classes to catch up with the curriculum. I was taking over 20 credits every semester including summers and running on less than 4.5 hours of sleep on an average night. This lasted for three years -- including summers. It ruined my health, my motivation, my looks, my relationships, my hygiene habits and more. I was completely lost and wasn't even looking for advice at that point. If I told my family I was going to graduate late, I'd be in big trouble.

By the end of this whole thing, I was so depressed, worn out and physically ill that when I asked to take a final on a different day (I had three back-to-back) and got rejected, I got drunk all by myself for the first and only time in my life. Something really broke in me that day, and the next semester I just couldn't force myself to do work.

If I knew then what I know now, that I could probably go and ask someone for advice, seek professional help or at least counseling, I would have certainly done that. Some professors knew something was wrong, because I was very interested in the subjects, and was ahead of most students in theoretical knowledge, especially mathematics, but I would never submit my homework assignments and lab reports. They sincerely tried helping me, but everyone missed the point that I drove myself into a state of serious mental illness. I would find myself sitting in rooms staring for hours at a single point, I couldn't force myself to sleep, I had bad social anxiety and constant panic attacks. But I didn't realize for a very long time that I was ill, that this was a real tangible thing that had a name, a physiological basis, and methods of treatment.

So what I'm asking you to consider is whether she's overall a bright individual. Does she seem to have previously done reasonably well? Is this a change in behavior? Clearly, she's gotten herself this far, so what's happening now? If you find that this is a recent development, refer her to counseling. Most universities have such services. She may not realize that she may have a problem. Most people in these situations don't.

Unless your course specifically allows for extensions on deadlines, you should not have offered one to her - this is unfair biased treatment based on coercion on her part. It also de-legitimizes any student who would come to you with a reasonable excuse for a deadline extension.

Knowing the position your student was in, you should have told her, upfront, that she had already done too little work to pass your course, and that extending the final deadline would not help (unless the final is somehow greater than 65% of the course grade, but even in that case, she has not shown any indication that she would meet even an extended deadline).

Now that you have offered this to her though, you Must allow her the opportunity to propose a new deadline as you've said you would. Be extremely strict about this. If she does not deliver on time, she has wasted her one opportunity for an extension and has failed your course.

At this point, you have done all you can for your student. You have reminded them of the consequences they will face numerous times, you have attempted to help them and reminded them of necessary coursework several times, and they have listened to none of your advice, done none of the work you requested, and still expect a favor from you in the end.

Do not feel guilty about failing her. Do not feel guilty even if she manages to get her thesis in. Unless it is perfect and your grading rubric actually does allow for more than 65% of the grade to be based on her final, do not pass her on that alone, and even if it does weigh that heavy on her grade, do not feel pressured to pass her on a less than perfect thesis.

She will complain. She will say terrible things about you. She may even throw a fit in the middle of the thesis defense or in the faculty office hallways. Do not give in.

If she can afford to slack off for an entire semester, she can afford to pay for another semester and do it right.

You are not failing her... she has failed. You are only acknowledging this fact.

I had a similar situation with a student in a software development class who came within one percentage point of a passing grade... and I refused to give her any slack at all because she never showed any interest in actually learning the material, never asked questions or otherwise participated in class, and never approached me or anyone else for help.

By all means, keep your word and allow her the extension. However, you have every right to expect that she keeps her word as well and gives you a new date, and then delivers on or before that date.

It's an unfortunate situation, but I can't see where you could have done anything to avoid it.

Since you have agreed to two day extension it is the only proper thing to wait for this time period, but not more.

One of primary goals of Bachelor's degree or Uni in general is to qualify you for work. And that also includes being able to live with the consequences of your action.

If after 2 days the delivery date (Which if she provides, should be short not long in my opinion) then fail her until she improves. It can be even multiple times if she still doesn't learn.

After she learns to do the work properly she should be a person more appropriate for working environment and will be beneficial for her in a long term. Which means you were successful as her supervisor.

There is a reason that you give a student a PASS or a FAIL: it's because not every student is worthy of a PASS. In this case, the student is obviously worthy of a FAIL. I wouldn't give it much more thought than that.

I guess you should let her go... it's a university, you tried everything. She's an adult now, if she refused your help but complaining about she needs more time to present something, I think you can't do nothing.

Let her fail. Of course she will hate you and she will think that this whole thing is because of you, but it's not true. She should understand that there are rules that can't be changed because of her.

If she made through university to her bachelor thesis, and cannot get any work done on it, then the problem is very likely not academic but elsewhere. Could be depression, could be severe family problems. Which means that although you are willing and trying to help her, you can't.

If you are convinced that she has no chance getting her bachelor thesis delivered (and that seems to be the case), there is nothing you can do from a professional point of view to help her. From a human point of view, it would be excellent if you could direct her towards someone who can help her; and possibly turn things academically so that she doesn't end up with a failed thesis but as if she had never started with the thesis (which is more or less what happened) so she can come back in a year or two when her problems are fixed - obviously only if that is something that you can do without problems, and if it is something that would help.

(I suppose there is a point up to which she can abandon a thesis as if she had never tried to write it, but have no idea where that point is).

There is a lot of great advice here. I just want to point one thing out, which will help when considered and applied with the other strategies.

You spent a lot of time in this question defending yourself and your performance. You, or at least part of you, feels that her failure is your failure, and you're trying to convince yourself that this is not the case.

It is a fact--that is, it is accurate that her failure is not your failure. You did not, in any way, fail to do everything a reasonable person would have done. However, you do not yet believe this (or at least you did not at the time you were writing the question). The answers here should help you, as anyone who is an objective observer, looking at this evidence, can tell that the student failed herself, 100%, no question.

But you have something to learn here, too, which is:

Do not internalize the failures of your students.

You seem to care a great deal, and there is nothing wrong with that--in fact it is a very positive quality in a supervisor. But it is going to degrade your performance if you consider it a personal failure every time someone who is under your supervision fails. It is not good for the other people that you supervise, it is not good for the people you work with, and it is not good for you.

That's all--I just wanted to bring out that point because it's something you (or anyone else in the same situation) might be missing about yourself, and it's something you can ponder and learn to recognize and hopefully overcome (or at least strengthen your defenses against) over time.

Your experience is not at all uncommon. I have had similar experiences with graduate students at my institution. At first I "felt bad" about giving a bad/failing grade to a student or not granting extensions, but over time, I have learned not to let my personal feelings get in the way.

I sympathize with your concerns:

• Yes, it is frustrating when you care more about your student's progress/success more than he/she does
• Yes, it is easy to believe that the student's failure reflects your own failure as an educator, especially if you have counseled the student multiple times with no results...
• Yes, "things do come up," and you should be flexible given extenuating circumstances
• Yes, it is difficult to refuse extensions to the student, because we are socially conditioned not to hurt people's feelings or be a "mean" person

BUT

• At university, the student is an adult, and you cannot "force" them to do the work
• At some point, the student needs to learn to take responsibility for their own work and respect deadlines. They need to develop this kind of maturity to be successful in the real world, and by being too nice, you may actually be doing the student a disservice
• From your account, the circumstance did not seem extenuating. You counseled the student multiple times and she blew you off until the last minute
• It is not fair to the other students who are, no doubt, just as busy as that student but still managed to get their work in on time
• You, as an educator, have a personal responsibility to ensure that people who pass your class/capstone requirements/thesis have fulfilled the requirements to pass, be it all the course assignments or the thesis. Not only would the student have to "turn in something," the quality that something has to be up to standards. If the student is unleashed on the real world with zero skills and zero knowledge, it reflects badly on the program and may affect the employment prospects of other students that come out of the program. If the person has to stay an extra semester, so be it.

Now to answer your question:

Now I am struggling with these three options:

• Wait for two days, and if she doesn't give me an exact delivery date (which she probably won't), just give her a fail grade.

• Give her an extension for ten days or two weeks, and then grade her based on what she delivers eventually, which most probably is a fail grade anyhow.

• Give her a longer extension, long enough for her to pass the thesis.

I vote for Option A (wait for two days, and if nothing then fail). Again, the student is an adult, and it is not your place to hound this person for her work. You are investing too much time in someone who cares less about her own progress than you do, and the end result can be disappointing. For example, early in my doctoral program, when I was still "nice," I had a student who kept on making up "legitimate" excuses for not turning in his mid-term exam on time ("I was doing HIV testing at X Festival this weekend," "I overbooked myself with Z"). I e-mailed him several times asking him to turn in his exam, and when he finally sent me his exam ~2 weeks after the due date, the accompanying e-mail read,

Haha Sorry!

Just being honest: I'm sitting in a house that I'm renting on the beach in ________, Mexico right now... It's difficult for me to concentrate!!!!

Granted, your student may not be sitting on a beach house in Mexico, but my point is that your emotional investment may not be worth the reward.

This is just the first of many experiences you will have with students. It is important to be able to emotionally detach when the situation calls for it to avoid burnout. There are a couple of ways to remedy this for the future:

1. Set a strict deadline and deduce points for late work except for extenuating circumstances. In grad school, I had a prof who took off 10 points for every hour the assignment was turned in late starting at 10 minutes past the hour. He announced his policy the first day of class. I also worked for someone who made it a policy that the highest grade she would give for late assignments was 80%. The latter is a bit tricky, because if you set the maximum grade too low, you might trigger a "what's the point" reaction, so tread carefully.
2. If you allow extensions, have a clear extension policy that can be applied universally. I understand that sometimes students are embarrassed or shy to ask for extensions, but if you go over the policy you have written on the syllabus in the beginning of class, and encourage open channels of communication, this may save you frustration in the end.
3. If it is possible to break the huge assignment down to small deliverables at regular intervals, this may add some structure to the process, and the multiple deadlines may create a sense of urgency among the students. For example, ask them for an outline by the second week of the semester so that you can give feedback in a low-pressure environment regarding the viability of their research endeavor. Then ask for an intro section 1 month after that, methods 3 weeks after, etc. You can also catch students who are lagging behind before they get too far behind.

I am sure the three suggestions I provided above, which I copped from former profs, were all developed as a result of the profs' having faced similar situations during their doctoral training.

EDIT: One other possibility is that the student may have ADD or a learning disability. Maybe you can talk to her about undergoing tests for ADD and other disabilities, which may be covered by student health insurance.

You are obviously a caring educator. I tip my hat to you.

When I was an academic advisor, I used to remind my students of something very important. It is up to the student to complete the assigned work in a manner that fulfills the instructor's requirements - all while meeting the posted deadline. The instructor only fails the student if she or he does not fulfill their end of the student/instructor agreement.

A student earns their grade. Please allow me to repeat that. A student EARNS their grade. A grade is not (hopefully) arbitrarily assigned by the instructor. A student who completes work as assigned, before the posted deadline, and with few to no errors will earn a passing grade. It's a simple concept. A student who ignores deadlines and submits an assignment that is riddled with errors cannot reasonably expect to pass. That student has not earned a passing grade.

As long as you are living up to your end of the student/instructor agreement, you are not failing the student. In this case, the student is on her way to earning a failing grade.

I would be glad if anyone can give me some recommendations on how to deal with this situation.

It is clear that you have done the right things and the advice you got from others is mostly correct. An important thing to learn is how to deal with this in the future. I would be more proactive than requiring that "all students are supposed to hand in their time plan within two weeks of their work".

In my experience even graduate students do not necessarily have good time management skills, although some do. I prefer to err the other way: give them a time plan, and make it aggressive: 1/2 the semester length. After all the inevitable excuses and delays, my class still finishes its projects before the others. I never tell them this is the real reason for having an advanced time plan - just that that's the way it is!

Like everyone else, I would say that you should give her a failing grade. Everyone else has expounded brilliantly on why you should as it relates to her performance and manipulation of your good intentions. I write this answer, not to reiterate what others have said but instead to offer one more piece of advice about why giving her the grade that she earned is the only appropriate course of action.

• If you give her extensions, you have lied to every other student in your class about expectations and grading.
  • and therein you begin to erode the confidence of those who have worked hard and met your expectations.

In a similar situation when a student was asking me for an extension, I asked the student if he/she realizes that - if I do - then they're asking me to lie to every other student just so they can have more time. When I asked that student if they actually wanted me to lie to the rest of the class, he/she understood, and said 'no.'

In the end, it is a great disservice to those who have taken you at your word and trusted your educational authority. It is those students who have worked hard to meet your deadlines and expectations that will lose faith in you, your class, and the subject, if they see that the ones who don't take class seriously get more advantages than they do.

Good luck in decision making. Do the thing that is best for your whole class and know that what you do for one student, you have to do for all students.

Let us know how it goes!